You see a smile, but is it really a smile or is it hiding someone's pain? You see a laugh but perhaps it is a laugh hiding nervousness.
I have been trying to figure out lately how to be able to express myself more which in turn makes me more vulnerable. I hate being vulnerable. It can make you feel insecure, unneeded or unwanted. It can open that essential can of worms that you aren't quite sure you want opened.
Everyone has personal turmoil and family issues. I wish there was a place to always safely turn to that you knew people would not judge or think differently of you. I wish there was always someone who would know exactly what I needed to do. I know ultimately that my Heavenly Father knows how it will always end up. I know He gave me my challenges for a reason.
Recently I spoke with someone regarding how hard it is for me to open up regarding personal matters. Not about my son or husband because I can talk about them all the time and I love it but about me. I am not sure how to better adapt to being more open.
I have a hard time showing weakness because I always want to be strong. I have a hard time expressing what is really on my mind because I don't want to feel rejected, ridiculed or regret my statements.
I continue to pray for guidance and look for the few sacred moments that I do begin to open just as flowers begin to bloom.
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