Blessings and then Disadvantages

So I was asked to speak in stake conference 2 weeks ago on 'the blessings that come from being active in the church'. When I was given the topic it seemed natural to list all the things that we have been so blessed with since returning to the church.  I even previously at the beginning of the year had listed out all the things that had taken place in our lives:

September 2012- Returned to church after 14 years

January 2013- Damian was baptized and confirmed

February 2013- Russ called into cubscouts

March 2013- Russ and I receive our patriarchal blessings and Russ received his Melchizedek priesthood

April 2013- I was called to 1st counselor in primary presidency

May 2013- Damian performs baptisms for the dead for the 1st time

June 2013- I was called to primary president and Russ called for Sunday school presidency

July 2013- Temple prep classes begin

August 2013- Damian begins his eagle project 

September 2013- Russ and I receive our temple endowments and Damian completed his eagle project

October 2013- We are sealed in the temple as a family

November 2013- Damian called into Deacons presidency

The list would make many say "how amazing" and to them I say YES!

Now, on the flip side.  Tonight a conversation about the many frustrations and uncertainty that still is difficult after being inactive for so long.  We as a family as still trying to figure out how to live each day to the fullest in the gospel.  Now, for some this may come across incorrectly and I want to just get across my feelings so bare with me.

There are times when we are conflicted with many things that are clearly normal for many families within the church.  There are things that I gather people have been doing for years and perhaps it is just a growing process.  We are still trying to work through these issues.

With life so busy, when do all families find time daily to do scripture study?  Does everyone have regular 9-5 jobs and do you set a specific time each and every day?  Does life and days ever get too busy that you forget or even a week?  We struggle with this.  With my sleeping and work schedule it is almost impossible 4 days a week to find time together to do this.  Not doing it as a family makes us struggle individually.  

Most families get to tuck their kids in bed and say bedtime prayers.  I leave at 6pm for work and is it weird to say bedtime prayers then?  Again, things get busy, I run late and I rush out many times without praying with my family.  Regardless of the many individual prayers we have it doesn't take place of those special family prayers.

Do you really do FHE every single week?  I guess my struggle is that again with my work schedule Mondays are not possible.  We spend my off days together doing activities or doing service as a family but do we sit down and have a song and scripture before hand, no.  We do have treats as a family but somehow I don't think that is mandated for FHE just something we all do most times.

The talks given in sacrament or stake conference or even just relief society or priesthood when someone says "we all know the story (or scripture)"....NO, we don't all know.  Some of us have been inactive for 14 years and may need a refresher.  Why does everyone assume we all know what story in the scripture you are talking about?  Remember that there are new members, investigators and reactive people in attendance. This part alone has made Russ and I both feel completely out of place at times.  Most often, we just look at each other and shrug our shoulders.  Then a feeling of inadequacy lingers.

Russ and I indulge ourselves in service in a way to hope to receive the blessings we missed out on all these years but then struggle when at times there are very little people seem to show the same effort in service. Let's be honest, not all service is the most pleasant but the feelings that come afterward are the reward. Taking time away from a family activity isn't the most ideal but on the flipside if we show our children that the times we can spend together can just be that of doing service it still is time.

Is every calling a "Sunday calling"?  Our callings should be every day.  Everyday we should look to do what we can in our areas.  We should look for opportunities to grow and reach out to others.  I personally spend at least an hour a day just thinking about my calling and the things I can do better.  Not to mention the hours upon hours I actually put into my calling each week.  Our callings bring us blessings and who doesn't want more blessings?  Whether it is visiting teaching, home teaching or any other additional calling.  Be the best you can be!

Perhaps they should have a class for all the reactivations (although sometimes I think we feel like we are the only ones).  A place where we can discuss our struggles and get questions answers.  Or perhaps I just blog about it! 

Love ya'll. I sincerely hope this doesn't come across abrasive but as you all know I open my heart in my blogs and this is just another one for me to look back in years time and see my growth from then to now.