I am feeling blue today. :( Listening to the radio this morning on the way to work and they were talking about the holiday. Here it is 10 days before Christmas and we haven't been able to buy Damian anything. We have already told him that we would have to wait till I get my school loan money in mid January and that we would have Christmas then.
I might pull our Christmas tree out on Christmas Day then leave it up till then end of January so it can kinda of feel like it anyways. This is the first time in 10 years that I just can't get myself to pull everything out when it doesn't seem the same as years prior.
I know that this will be temporary and that maybe next year will be better and I know that it isn't about the gifts but how does a 9 year old HONESTLY understand that. He tells us he does but can he really? It breaks my heart when he says "Mom I know we don't have money for Christmas but maybe if you can afford it can you buy me that?" as we watch a commercial with a rubber dart gun.
How can I expect him to go back to school after winter break and when other kids ask him what he got he says "nothing yet."
Tell me its normal for me to feel guilty about this. It's a mom thing right?
Ok I need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and get out of this depressed hole I'm in.
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I didn't know you had a blog! Anyway, we may not have ever had the chance to know each other well being quite distant relatives but as a mom I can tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty but I can understand how you would anyway. I remember Damian from Aunt Bunny's party and he has such an amazing spirit that I don't doubt that he does understand and what a great way to learn that the true meaning of Christmas and the idea of Christmas spirit has nothing to do with gifts. Hey, can you send me your address so I can send you a Christmas card? Jenfen23@gmail.com - Love Jennifer Fenenoz
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