How Time Changes Everything!

Well, how things change. Seems like a whole different world when things are so less dramatic. On March 16th, I am no longer at my job of almost 8 years. Big huh?! I think so. Well to fate and luck, I was only on the unemployment line for 3 days. I feel like I am pretty qualified and that definatley lead to my new job. My new job is great! The people are amazing and you actually get the idea that you CAN work with people who aren't judgmental and not jealous of your knowledge. A little less pay but well worth it! Less stress, more appreciation...couldn't ask for much more than that.

Damian is getting ready for spring break. He will be spending the week with his great-grandparents in Parhump (an hour away). OH NO! What will I do? Russ and I haven't been away from him for more than 2 days EVER. Hopefully I don't drive myself there in the middle of the night.

I guess that might prepare me a little better for summer. He wants to go visit my dad and step mom (papa and mima) and that will be a big test of me being strong. AHHHH--

Russ if working like crazy. He is going between 2 stores to help out another manager.

The dogs are great! Loving as usual.

Well, that's it for now. Gotta get back to listening a little at school.
Love you all!

HMMMM.....JUST THINKING

Well, sitting here thinking about nothing particular but still thinking about alot. Somedays it is so dreadful to be at work and others seem to be fine. I guess that what comes after almost 8 years. Ahhh. School is on my mind and how crazy it has been. So much work, so much reading (that I don't do but should) and so much unknown!

Ok, gotta get back to it!

A DAY LATER...

What a day makes. Well for some things.... I had the amazing chance to speak with my grandma whom I haven't spoken to in about 4 years. Things for both of us were completely validated and some things were taken out of context. But it did make me feel better about some of the family siutations. Relief... I deserve that!

Still trying to fingue out how I look at someone who I KNOW betrayed me. I have lost a lot of respect for this person and need to find someway to move on....either by discussing it (which could be detrimental to our friendship) or forgetting it (hard to do). Not sure yet, but I'm sure in the coming days it will be revealed to me.

I sure love my husband. He is an amazing listener and I feel his love daily. I am so blessed to have him in my lfie and I am honored to be his wife. My son, my husband and my dogs=MY LOVES!!!

Hope every who reads this has a wonderful day!

PONDERING

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder what it would be like to have a "complete" family. A family who got along with one another, a family who expressed their love for each other, a family who didn't hold grudges, a family who go toether on the holidays and it was so amazing to be around ALL of them. Will I ever get that family? I guess all I can do is wish. Wishes seem so far fetched sometimes.

I'm wondering if my father will call. He said he would but I haven't heard from him. He said it would be different and things would change. Not yet. I know that I tried and I tried and I called and I went over....nothing in return. Guess maybe I shouldn't have feelings. If I didn't I wouldn't be upset.

I should stop wondering why I wouldn't have been wanted at my own uncle's memorial. If you have never felt not wanted, that was the day. Feeling as though you aren't good enough, not worthy enough, not loved. And all I did was get upset that I wasn't included in a family portrait. Only the "real" kids were. But I guess I don't have the right to feel that way either.

Guess I'll stop feeling.